Where have I been?

Hello, it's been a while.

I'm back on this and it feels nice. It's been ages since I've posted anything up on here and a lot has happened since. For a while, I fell out of love with blogging and social media. I put unnecessary pressure on myself to get the perfect photo or getting a certain number of engagements - I never really reach anything that I aimed for. So much so I forgot why I even started writing on here - to escape from life for an hour and do something that's just for me. 

I always felt like I was late on trends, didn't have the money to keep up on the latest makeup or have the confidence to say what I really thought. For a really long time I wasn't satisfied with my life and wanted to find something out of my ordinary to find the thing that was missing. I didn't know what that thing was, I still don't to be honest. 

In 2018 I decided to do something bold and tick something off my bucket list, move to London. I packed up all of my favourite things and just went for it. I left everyone behind and wanted to start something new. London is a big shiny place, lots to do and things to see. I was excited and it was the most independent I'd ever felt. I started a new job, lived in a house share and didn't know anyone. It was lonely at first, all I did was clean my room and sit on my phone. The job I had paid a ridiculously low wage and to make it better, I was the lowest paid in the whole company - great. Reality started to set in and I slowly became the most miserable version of myself, it just took me a while to see it. Don't get my wrong, I made some friends and have some good memories. Everyone said I was brave for just moving there but I felt even more brave when I decided to move home. I kept going for months, trying to not accept defeat but I reached a point where I hate every moment and I knew it was time. Just as quickly as I moved there, I handed in my notice and I was gone. It was all over with and even though I was home I still felt like I had to rebuild myself. I didn't realise how low I was until I look back now.  

When I moved home I was in this weird transition phase, I was back in my comfort bubble but I still wasn't happy. I didn't have a job so I had a lot of time to think about what I really wanted and what really went wrong when I lived in London. It was a time when I started to think about myself more than I ever have, what I enjoy, what people I want around and what I want in the long term. 

After a few months getting back on my feet I found a job again. Although, my confidence was so low all of my interviews went terribly I just wasn't in the place that I used to be. Before London I could take criticism and use it to improve myself but now I just think I'm terrible and everyone is against me. I'm working on it though, I have a lot of internal chats with myself about how good I am at things and that I've been in a lot worse places. Sometimes it just takes me a little bit more time to compose myself. 

It's difficult going back into an old life when you feel like a completely different person. People expect you to just be the same and slot back in but it's harder than that. I think now, I'm more honest and I don't really care about making everyone happy anymore. Not a lot of people will help you out so I'm tagging onto that mindset. It sounds bad but it's true, stick with the people who look out for you. I feel like my mindset towards work has changed too, you're always going to get called out for something but don't put up with bullshit because you think you have to. Go to work and earn a wage so you can do more in your personal life, which is what is important. That's why we go to work at the end of the day.    

I'm now in a better place just with a different attitude towards life. I don't really give a shit about things I used to stress over. I'm more focused and honest with myself, I don't have crazy exceptions like I used to. I've put together my goals and started to put them into action. 

If you've stuck around for the past 5 years or so and I've posted nothing, thank you and I'm sorry! 

So that's that, super long post over. I'll be back writing about makeupy, beauty stuff soon x

London Highlights (and lowlights)

Straight after my birthday my Mam and I had a trip to London planned. We had this planned since Christmas. I bought my Mam tickets to see Adele live at Wembley Stadium, yes, the show was cancelled and we are still proper gutted. My Mam cried when she got the tickets on Christmas morning and cried on the show morning- obviously for the wrong reasons.

Never the less we still had a fab weekend, probably the best time I've had in London. Heres a few pics because I'm a photography geek obvs

Day one - South Kensington and Burger & Lobster 

Day 2 - Adele Cancelled - Tattoos, Pints and shopping instead 

I kind of want to share the story about this pointless little heart tattoo. So my Mam was SO worried about travelling to London, I'm pretty chill in these situations but she is the complete opposite. When we got there she realise how unadventurous she has always been and wished she could go out and see more. On an impulse, we made an adventurous decision to just walk in and get a tattoo, something I never thought she'd do! Its a little mark of remembrance to dive into things, also I think its cute as matching with my Mam. 

Day 3 - Tourist overload 

We saw the sights and I walked around with my DSLR around my neck, proper tourist mode.

London I will love you always x

My 21st Birthday | Outfit

At the end of June it was my 21st birthday. I'm really not one for parties at all but my mam and dad agreed that I had to have at least a family party to celebrate. Actually, I have an amazing day...and here is what I wore and a few pictures of the day. 

How amazing was my birthday cake please? Coconut and pineapple flavour too!

Mam selfie... 

Dad selfies...

Outfit 

Jumpsuit - http://www.boohoo.com/jen-gingham-ruffle-culotte-jumpsuit/DZZ49626.html 

Shoes - http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/rave-detailed-tassel-sandals-6511444

I am very lucky and thanks to everyone who made it special x

Spa Night

First of all Happy New Year and I hope you've had a fab Christmas, whatever you've been up to!

A few months back I bought my Mam a gift voucher for her and I to go to Seaham Hall for a Twilight Spa and a treatment. This was a present for her 50th Birthday all the way back in October and we've only just got round to actually using it!

This  was my very first spa, 20 years on this earth and I've only just discovered spas. We thought between Christmas and New Year would be the ideal time for us to go with us both working full time and having holidays over the festive season. Plus it meant we actually knew what day it was!

So off we went, to be honest I had no clue of what to expect. First observations were how beautiful and clean reception and building is, there was nothing out of place, no mess no nothing. Second observation, how lovely and helpful all the staff are! Particularly with it being my first spa experience.   All of the facilitates are great even just starting with the changing rooms, electronic secure lockers, hair dryer and straighteners, luxury lotions and washes. Scattered around the spa are water stations that are all free which to me is a nice touch.

Then it came to the dreaded take off the robe and stand it a swimming costume, nothing worse at all. The spa facilities includes a swimming pool with massage jets, outdoor hot tubs, Jacuzzi, sanarium, steam rooms, hydrotherapy pool , ice shower and pools. We were in our element and tried just about everything, ice pools aren't my cuppa tea! Best part for me was deffo the outdoor hot tub, first time in one too. We some how spent hours just chilling in hot tubs and pools, not to bad ey! It was a lovely time to just catch up with my Mam and reflect on Christmas and things, something we don't often get to do. 

We then had our treatment, we had the choice of a full body massage or a facials and we both opted for the facials. Again, this was a whole new thing for me! The treatment rooms lovely, again very clean and neat. And again, the therapists were lovely and helpful putting me at ease.  The facial lasted about an hour and it includes the works! I had a deep cleanse, tone, exfoliate, mask, moisturise, hot oil head and neck massage. It was definitely the more luxurious thing my face has ever received, like ever. At first all I wanted to do was sit and giggle, it's weird having a strange rub your face and massage your head. As time went on my giggles left and I just totally chilled out and enjoyed some relaxation. My skin was glowing afterwards and felt so soft but I enjoyed the relaxation more than anything! The massage even managed to sort my stiff neck. All the products used were of good quality and did wonders to my skin and scalp. After the facial I was recommended SUNDÃRI Apricot & Shea Hydra Soothing Mask by the therapist, if you have dehydrated skin then check this one out.  

As a part of the voucher a 2 course meal in the hotels Thai restaurant was included. Thai is my fave food can I just add. It did feel weird sitting my a restaurant in my robe and flip flops but we thankfully weren't the only ones! The service was great in the restaurant and the food was amazing. It was all great portion sizes, I found in hotels sizes are small and disappointing but this one just a nice size. I order the Duck Pancakes starter, generous size! and the Thai Green Chicken curry(photographed below). Both courses we presented very well and tasted just as good. The overall restaurant had a great interior and was very clean. One thing to watch if you are visiting, drinks prices! We paid £11 for two diet cokes and a bottle of water. 

My Seaham Hall experience was so relaxed and I'm dying to go back again. It was a lovely way to end the year with a little get away, even if it was just for the evening! It was a gift that my Mam loved.

If you're in the North East area then give it a try!
http://www.seaham-hall.co.uk/specials?oid=260&gid=24